Monday, May 7, 2018

The Crazy Chicken McNugget Man Tried to Steal My Maid of Honor

Every young girl dreams of their wedding. When I was 12, I told my best friend I would marry a handsome blonde man with dreamy blue eyes...and that I did. Perfect man, perfect dress, and a beautiful day in March of 2006. But there were a few bumps along the way.

I woke up that morning so excited that the countdown was finally over. Grabbed my dress and everything I needed, and got into my NEW car. I picked up my best friend/Maid of Honor Emily who had traveled from California. After we got our hair done I realized my NEW car was boxed into the very tight parking lot. I had 20 minutes to get across town to get my makeup done. Inched back, inched forward...I was stuck. Went inside, no one owned the truck behind me. I very carefully inched forward and hit a very small pole. Like a pole that once held a handicap sign small, and it was bent, so obviously I wasn't the first to do so. Didn't think much of it and I was out of the parking lot so not a huge price to pay. When we arrive at the makeup place, I check the damage and the whole front end of the passenger bumper was caved in. My grandparents had just bought me that car, and I knew my grandpa would be pissed. Maybe he wouldn't notice, but how could he not?

Make-up was done and keeping my nerves in check had burned a lot of calories. I was starving! We stopped by Mcdonald's on our way to the church. Emily and I giggled while we enjoyed chicken McNuggets in the parking lot. A strange man watched us as we ate so I decided we should get back on the road. I pulled out of McDonald's and was stopped at a red light. All of a sudden, I see crazy chicken Mcnugget man charging toward us. I gave him the benefit of doubt, maybe he was just crossing the street. Maybe I was being paranoid. I looked forward and avoided eye contact as I anxiously waited for the light to turn green. I would have plowed through if it weren't for the fact that it was a very busy intersection. All of a sudden, I hear yelling, "You chicken killers should be ashamed of yourself. Save the chickens!" I apologized profusely as he jumped on my already dented new car. "I am sorry sir, no more chickens for us." While Emily pleads with him to get off the car, "Dude, get off the car. We're sorry." He jumps off. Longest red light of my life. I had my foot ready to push on the gas and all of a sudden, the door swings open and he grabs Emily's hand. He's pulling one hand and I am pulling the other. I hold on to her as I put my foot on the gas and take off just as the light turns green.
You see that hair out of place? Small price to 
pay for saving my best friend from 
the McNugget Man!
We got to the church, threw away our McNuggets. It took a long time before I was able to eat another one. I need to ask Emily when she was able to stomach a Mcnugget because she was more traumatized than I was. We got out, got yelled at for the dented car and then I walked down the aisle to my dream man waiting on the other side for me. It was a beautiful ceremony but I couldn't wait to get him alone...to tell him how incredibly difficult it was to make it there in one piece. Best day (other than those small little bumps) of my life. 12 years and 4 children later we are still living our happily ever after.






Now that I look back at my life so far, this event, in particular, I think how could I NOT be a writer? Do things like this happen to other people? Because this is just something you can't make up.




Sometimes life is just stranger than fiction!